Friends

I can really talk A LOT when it comes to this topic. But what compelled me to write this post was 'cause of something that happened to me today in college. But more on that later since I'm saving the messages to those people later. Wouldn't wanna waste my readers time on those.

It's very hard to find a best friend they say. Very true. I gave up on mine, because for now, I think there isn't such a thing as a best friend. So far I think only 1 person knows this. It was kinda funny actually. I believed in all the best friend thingy since F1. And then last year, coming up to F5. All those discouraging-best-friends statements came coming in. 6 in total. All are alike. And funny how the timing was. ALL the statements were made to me IN THE SAME YEAR! It's like an average of 2 months one statement comes in.

But what made it have its mark on me was... all came from very very very close friends. Can you imagine your bestie sitting in front of you and pouring her heart out saying there's no such thing as a bestie? Imagine what I felt then... But somehow I think God was preparing me for something bigger I had to face. Yeap. All 6 of 'em. And the 7th one... let's just say I let that one slip off my hands..

And today. Hail. Comes the college mates. Right in front of me. Backstabbing. Ah hah. Does that ring back an unwanted memory of your past? They actually talked about me beside me. So I guess you can consider that sidestab or something?


To the point. I guess some people really don't change from their high school. And for goodness sake! It's only been 3 months and you already have something bad to talk about people??? But now instead of feeling angry or anything that I WOULD have felt in high school, I'm just letting it go. Not because I'm desperate for friends in my college. Yeah I did thought about what Jesus would ask me to do. But, I actually felt fed up of all these people. I'm really fed up of pleasing them. And now I know. For THOSE kinda backstabbers. A NO-NO.

To you 3 girls aka backstabbers. Stop pretending. And 2 of you who just listened while the other opened her mouth and yapped away, how can you even laugh if you were really a friend? I really hope someday you will know how it feels. Not that I'm hoping it would pay back. But really, I hope that would be the ultimate lesson for you on how it feels. And one among the 2 of you. I really don't understand how you can just sit and laugh still when yourself told me on how YOUR friends backstabbed you. You never wanna learn do you?
And for the one that opened her mouth. I hope YOU will learn the lesson some day too. Don't get me wrong. I will still help you if you need help. But no. Nothing more than that anymore.

I've been a loner lately. And I don't mind being one. I've sorta 'trained' that habit in F5. So for goodness sake college peeps. Just because I don't open up my mouth doesn't mean I'm emo (but thank you though, for the ones that are really concerned) , it doesn't imply i don't SMILE either. And to you know who you are, my smile is only reserved for those who really care and DON'T BACKSTAB and when someone really needs it. So stop relating my moodiness and me not smiling. I know my smile is very attrative thank you.